Amen, amen, amen. A lot of this has been my own journey as well. Left Bible school an ultra correct, unyielding zealot who had all the answers. Went to the mission field and there discovered Orthodoxy, but kept the same mindset, arguing with family about all the ways they were wrong (before I myself had actually entered the Church). Slowly God has brought me to heel. I still struggle with the voracious appetite for more information; another book, another blogpost another podcast etc. I’ve largely exited most online Orthodoxy. I go back and forth on whether I think it’s a net good or net bad avenue for encountering Orthodoxy. I know it’s been the starting point for so many of us in discovering the Faith, and for that I give thanks. But the way we sometimes (often?) behave online, the rancor, factiousness and unmercifulness with which we treat each other is a stain on our witness. Lord have mercy.
Reminds me of a bit from the Anonymous Collection of the Desert Fathers:
A monk read the scriptures day and night for two decades then suddenly quit his home, sold his books, and left for the wilds. An elder monk stopped him and asked where he was going. “I have spent twenty years only hearing the words of the [sacred] books,” he answered, “and now I finally want to make a part on putting into action what I have heard from the books.”
I remember reading, a-hem 😉, when a younger monk bragged to an older monk about having read ALL the works of St. Maximos the Confessor, and the older monk upbraided him severely for devoting more time to reading than to praying. He said, "You should never read more than you pray." That struck me as very true and very profound, but I am still struggling to put it into action. And Saint Gavrilia told her spiritual children that they would not begin to make progress until they stopped reading every else except the Gospels. I tend to read everything but the Gospels. I fear that I am like Father Roman Braga and may need to be confined by four walls and bereft of books before I can actually apply myself to the hard work of learning how to pray. Lord, have mercy!
Good stuff. I went on a book buying frenzy about 3 years ago (when I got introduced to Orthodoxy). I've read about half the books, and only half way through half the books I read, and stopped reading about 6 months ago.
I was wandering why my desire to 'know more' or 'know the real truth' wasn't there anymore. I think you nailed most of the reasons. Thank you.
There might be a person out there who is a better Christian and has more love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness and self-control because they can explicate the essence/energies distinction of the divine nature according to St. Gregory Palamas... but I haven't met that person yet. :)
Ironically, I'm friends with a leading scholar of Palamas. But he's a humble man, a joy to be around, and a good father to his children. He hasn't forgotten what's important.
That's a really good thing. One of the things I loved about Fr. Tom Hopko was that he was a really down to earth Christian in real life. I know it CAN be done but maybe not as well by us "newbies". :)
Amen, amen, amen. A lot of this has been my own journey as well. Left Bible school an ultra correct, unyielding zealot who had all the answers. Went to the mission field and there discovered Orthodoxy, but kept the same mindset, arguing with family about all the ways they were wrong (before I myself had actually entered the Church). Slowly God has brought me to heel. I still struggle with the voracious appetite for more information; another book, another blogpost another podcast etc. I’ve largely exited most online Orthodoxy. I go back and forth on whether I think it’s a net good or net bad avenue for encountering Orthodoxy. I know it’s been the starting point for so many of us in discovering the Faith, and for that I give thanks. But the way we sometimes (often?) behave online, the rancor, factiousness and unmercifulness with which we treat each other is a stain on our witness. Lord have mercy.
Reminds me of a bit from the Anonymous Collection of the Desert Fathers:
A monk read the scriptures day and night for two decades then suddenly quit his home, sold his books, and left for the wilds. An elder monk stopped him and asked where he was going. “I have spent twenty years only hearing the words of the [sacred] books,” he answered, “and now I finally want to make a part on putting into action what I have heard from the books.”
I remember reading, a-hem 😉, when a younger monk bragged to an older monk about having read ALL the works of St. Maximos the Confessor, and the older monk upbraided him severely for devoting more time to reading than to praying. He said, "You should never read more than you pray." That struck me as very true and very profound, but I am still struggling to put it into action. And Saint Gavrilia told her spiritual children that they would not begin to make progress until they stopped reading every else except the Gospels. I tend to read everything but the Gospels. I fear that I am like Father Roman Braga and may need to be confined by four walls and bereft of books before I can actually apply myself to the hard work of learning how to pray. Lord, have mercy!
Good stuff. I went on a book buying frenzy about 3 years ago (when I got introduced to Orthodoxy). I've read about half the books, and only half way through half the books I read, and stopped reading about 6 months ago.
I was wandering why my desire to 'know more' or 'know the real truth' wasn't there anymore. I think you nailed most of the reasons. Thank you.
There might be a person out there who is a better Christian and has more love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness and self-control because they can explicate the essence/energies distinction of the divine nature according to St. Gregory Palamas... but I haven't met that person yet. :)
Ironically, I'm friends with a leading scholar of Palamas. But he's a humble man, a joy to be around, and a good father to his children. He hasn't forgotten what's important.
That's a really good thing. One of the things I loved about Fr. Tom Hopko was that he was a really down to earth Christian in real life. I know it CAN be done but maybe not as well by us "newbies". :)